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BEACH PLEASE!

BEACH PLEASE!

Ola bitchachos!

Welcome to this week’s edit of THE X CARTEL.

Our beach please edit has all the must-have summer getaway pieces that you will need to make one full day on the beach feel like a month-long ‘holiyay’.

And for those of you who will be opting for the virtual version of this holiday why not crack open something citrus and add a splash of rum, coz this edit is about to get lit!*

*I am almost 100% sure I am using that correctly!

ON CAPE TOWN'S DREAMIEST BEACH

Sun’s up on Clifton 4th beach in beautiful Cape Town. This uber sheltered beach is a favourite with locals and yocals alike because what they don't tell you at the travel agency is that the wind starts howling around the exact same time that the sun starts shining. And, added bonus, it makes a pretty perfect spot for you to start your day off with a little morning yoga! I say a little because I am super crap at yoga so my motto has always been a little goes a long way. But the real reason for venturing out to feign some zen is that you get to wear the luxey-est leggings and gym bra from MONREAL. I discovered this brand a couple of months ago and am thrilled to report that they have somehow managed to get the ‘spanxy’ effect I need from my leggings. Plus they are super comfy so even if you are ‘going to work out’ (wink wink wink wink) (that means your really going for a coffee with your bestie) you can still benefit from the perky effects of said leggings and fit 4 pain au chocolat down your gullet like I do!

You lucky dreamboats can save 15% on any MONREAL shopping you do if you enter discount code TXC15 at check out!

MONREAL WINDBREAKER - JUST IN CASE

When one decides to spend 12 effing hours on a beach there are a few things to bear in mind.

1. Outfit changes

2. Hydration and,

3. Outfit changes

And we have you covered with all 3.  For sustenance, I snack on a variety of fruity treats. Shout out to the classic melon and salty sea water combo! (That’s a thing, right?)

For hydration, I love to bring a glass bottle to help ease some of the guilt I have around my abysmal treatment of dear old Mother Earth. This little pinky does just the trick!

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Shout out to sandy wedgies that used to fill up the crotch of all my childhood cozzies!

If you aren’t rocking that sandy dingle dangle that results from being dumped by a few dozen waves then did you really even go for a swim?

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TAXI CAB YELLOW

This is my favourite colour for any beach setting. I call it Taxi Cab Yellow. Which seems appropriate when you consider how many times a day I pick up hotties on the beach! #AMIRIGHT! JK.

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MERCH

Here at THE X CARTEL, we love nothing more than a little ethically produced, hand-embroidered customisation. So it makes sense that our merch would consist of just that. 

We are so obsessed with the fit and organic cotton of our baggy white tees. And what's more, you can personalise them with whatever your heart desires! I love to style them by rolling the sleeve up super high to show off my yoga guns. But they look super cute any way you stack it! Click the X and grab a matching one for you and your bestie like I did.

These cotton brollies are so high on my beach bucket list that they deserve a gosh darn medal! Seriously the guys at Sunday Supply Co. have nailed this product. They are stripey, spotty, gorgey, and protecty from the sunny. What more could you ask for? Nothing you demanding beasts! So shop it!

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SHOUT OUT TO YO FANNY(PACK)

Quick shout out to the fanny-pack trend. Any trend with a rude word in it is going to win me over, but this one by local South African producers SUMMAH co is so beautifully made and is the perfect place to store your ‘Rands’ (local currency) for all those essential Granadilla* Lolly purchases.

*Granadilla = Passionfruit for all you saucy minxes who didn’t know.

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ENTER IT

TOODLES DREAMBOATS

And that brings us to sundown on Cape Town’s beautiful sandy beach.

I hope you guys loved this story as much as I loved making it.

X

Cas

Editor, beach bitch and sunstroke survivor

Video: Nicol Dippenaar

Photographer: Jacques Weyers

Assistant: Justin Cleaver